A poem about “ED” (eating disorder) ¬†written by Niki Policelli

I remember playing dress up

Alone in my room

My big shiny microphone

was actually a broom

I wore makeup and dresses

And lit up the stage

I had very bold dreams

At a very young age

After years of daydreaming

Something started to change

I looked in the mirror

And felt so ashamed

I began this new friendship with

A voice I named ED

A friend and a bully

I let live in my head

He spoke about diets

Tape measures and scales

He said “you shouldn’t sing,

If you look like a whale ”

I dieted for years

Trying to wipe myself out

That is exactly

What my shows were about

Self loathing and hiding

For years upon years

Me standing on stage

Was me facing my fears

People critiqued

They thought that I shouldn’t

but I had to because

ED told me I couldn’t

Some understood

Some really did not

But approval from others

Is not what I want

I want to express something

Tested and true

Follow your heart

Do it for you

You have a gift

Give it life do it well

Don’t let YOUR ED

Hide you in his hell

I wrote a few songs

That’s my victory Lap

I no longer worry

Who will be there to clap

For I owed it to show up

For that little girl

That ED tried to bury

And hide from the world

This one song will take you

To purpose through pain

It’s my happy ending

I call it


I know who “ED” is for me,

Who is “ED” for you???



(Blue Rain to be released in October )


3 0 1 – Three meals a day…

3 0 1

Three meals a day

Nothing in between

One day at a time.

This concept has completely cured my binge eating disorder.

Before you read on, please know that I fully acknowledge that what has worked for me may not work for you, however, I have been asked repeatedly to share my experience in dealing with binge eating, so I am only sharing what I have found helpful to me. I do hope there is something here that you will find helpful in any way.

True recovery began the day I found a book titled 

Never Binge Again 

by Glen Livingston. 

It was a game changer, lifesaver for me.

I didn’t know how to eat like a normal person.

I was either eating clean and perfectly following my diet or I was eating “dirty” and binge eating until I was physically sick- always vowing to start again tomorrow.

I was good or I was bad.

Therapists insisted I stop dieting, because it was the restrictions that lead to deprivation which lead to the binging which fuelled the need to diet and restrict.

A complete diet trap!

but how could I Stop dieting?

Not being in control meant completely falling apart, getting into the food which meant gaining weight!

It was a trap that was robbing me of my entire life.

I was introduced to the idea of eating three meals a day  with no snacks, nothing in between.

No rules, no cutting food groups or favourites. No calorie counting- no stress!

The idea felt foreign to me but I had to try it, so I did, and my entire life changed.

I feel in control because I have a boundary and realize this is a food plan – a spiritual tool of recovery

Not a diet!

I promised myself I would give this a chance.

Not to lose weight or alter my physical appearance, but so that I could learn to eat like a normal person. I thought eating normally was a complete impossibility. I thought I would gain a ton of weight and lose myself completely without my diet!

I’m very proud to say my weight is healthy and stable and I have the most amazing relationship with food now.

My boundaries and thought process ?

I eat three meals a day nothing in between

I allow 4-5 hours between meals

I do not restrict

There is no good or bad food

Which means there is nothing to cheat on or break

I eat intuitively

I do not allow my self to get full

I feed myself lovingly choosing wisely in every meal

I figure I only have three meals a day to worry about

With four to five hours between meals I feel my body has time to digest and utilize my food as fuel until my next meal

I honour my hunger and fullness being mindful of how much I need to feel satisfied without getting uncomfortable or full

everyday my needs are different and i honour that that fact also

I ask myself at every meal what I truly want and need and eat a portion of that in a way that satisfies me comfortably

im very mindful to be active and get little bursts of activity between meals which makes me feel that I’m utilizing the calories, using up the fuel until my next meal

Now, I’m no longer a yo yo

Up and down

Good or bad

Fat or skinny

Binging or recovering

I am the same every day

there is no good or bad food

It’s just renewing my mind at every meal

I use excersise as a form of self care knowing that I’ve done something great for myself and my mind and body.

Knowing it helps to balance and control my moods and caloric intake without obsessing over numbers!

three meals a day

nothing in between

one day at a time

This concept has helped me control my weight, cleared up my skin and completely stabilized my life!

I love my food

I accept my body and my natural weight

I love my excersise and I love my life!

I’m in control of my food plan

the food does not control me

I will never binge again

I made that promise to myself and I kept it!

I hope this helps anyone who needs this today!