Blue Rain

BLUE RAIN

Most stories finish with an ending but mine finishes with a beginning.

When I stepped away from the “red carpet drive” I made promises to myself and I kept them.

Promises that I would do anything I had to to do to recover from my eating disorder.

I promised to see progress, not perfection,

that I would make peace with food and feed myself lovingly.

I promised I would catch up to my dreams – dreams of writing and performing my songs. I spent my life stifling that dream down so far that I almost lost it.

Blue rain is a song about a healthy state of mind, recovery , mental health, and a heart full of hope; a promise to never give up on yourself and a reminder that you don’t need to try so hard.

Do these lyrics make you pause, maybe look up to the sky, and take a minute out of your day to dream and to believe it could happen to you?

I made promises to myself and kept them,
that’s what “blue rain” means to me,

what is your promise to yourself?

To listen to and learn more about Nikki Policelli please visit

Lovingandleavinged.com

Love, Niki

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A poem about “ED” (eating disorder) written by Niki Policelli

I remember playing dress up

Alone in my room

My big shiny microphone

was actually a broom

I wore makeup and dresses

And lit up the stage

I had very bold dreams

At a very young age

After years of daydreaming

Something started to change

I looked in the mirror

And felt so ashamed

I began this new friendship with

A voice I named ED

A friend and a bully

I let live in my head

He spoke about diets

Tape measures and scales

He said “you shouldn’t sing,

If you look like a whale ”

I dieted for years

Trying to wipe myself out

That is exactly

What my shows were about

Self loathing and hiding

For years upon years

Me standing on stage

Was me facing my fears

People critiqued

They thought that I shouldn’t

but I had to because

ED told me I couldn’t

Some understood

Some really did not

But approval from others

Is not what I want

I want to express something

Tested and true

Follow your heart

Do it for you

You have a gift

Give it life do it well

Don’t let YOUR ED

Hide you in his hell

I wrote a few songs

That’s my victory Lap

I no longer worry

Who will be there to clap

For I owed it to show up

For that little girl

That ED tried to bury

And hide from the world

This one song will take you

To purpose through pain

It’s my happy ending

I call it

BLUE RAIN…..

I know who “ED” is for me,

Who is “ED” for you???

Lovingandleavinged.com

Much Love,

Niki Policelli